Repair My Heart

“You doing good?”

I wish I could

But good? I should.

‘Course “I’m doing fine”

Not “Hi,

I want to die,”

Just

“No of course I’m fine,”

But I’ve crossed the line

I look behind

And see the place

Back in space   

Where I decided death

Was the better option.   

I’ve taken up adoption   

To the moron

And now he’s gone

And so am I: the pawn.

But what about the rest?

To live: Start in the shop of life

You don’t get to come here twice

But now I’m stuck with all this strife.

May I have a knife?

How to escape?

It’s seems there is

Just sun and moon and sun

And I’m done

I haven’t won

But don’t be stunned

You gave me the gun.   

And to see the gate

Of heaven, of hell

Ringing bells

Or screams and yells   

Just don’t make me live.

Now I’m probably overthinking

I’m sinking

Hit the rock of

The brain’s labor of love

Sorry?   

Love is not my   

Way to fly,

More to die.

No not feeling.   

Unappealing.

They’re just stealing

Whatever’s left inside this hollow skull.

A song of sleep to lull

But not to sleep

Harder than logically thinking.

Blinking

Back tears

Don’t let your peers

See your cares.

Over the years

Building up your fears.

Can you please just repair-

I don’t know where to start,

I’m not that smart

But maybe if you start   

With what we took apart.

So then can you please jumpstart

My heart?

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My Fault

Stop blaming yourself.
You are not the cause.

Let it go, dear.

You just want attention.

… But it was my fault.

Stop cutting yourself.

It’s all in your head.

Stop it now, dear.

You’re so ugly and fat.

… But it is my fault.

Stop thinking that way.

It is in your head.

Talk to me, dear.

You’re grades are so awful.

Mom is disappointed.

… But it’s all my fault.

Go get some help, please.

You need to get meds.

You’re not fine, dear.

See, even your friends turned.

They know you’re horrible.

You shouldn’t be alive.

… And it’s all my fault.

I can’t believe it.

We tried to help her.

But now she’s gone.

… Really, it is their fault.

I Win

“Don’t touch my soul with dirty hands,”

I demand.

“Why not? It’s not like you can stop

Me, you flop,

You sad excuse for a perfect kid.”

“God please

Forgive

Forbid

Him to touch it again please.”

“Oh your little god, he does not

Care you ought

To know that by now. Give me that

To work at.”

“No. You will not take it again.

You cause pain.”

“Exactly. Now give up, you won’t win.

You fall.

You sin.

I win.”

________________

I know I don’t normally put little excerpts after poems, but I asked a few people to read this, and then what they thought about it, and everyone came up with something different. So my question is, what did you think I was talking about?

Thanks guys,

Amelika Kaumaha

18 Writing Prompts

As any writer would know, writing is hard. But figuring out what your going to write about is just as!

So, for all the lazy people (me included) I compiled a list of prompts, so if we ever can’t figure out what to write, just stop by here.

Some of these prompts I have used in the past, and some I may use in the future, so if you write anything using these prompts, be sure to tell me, as I love to check out what you wrote, plus see what you did differently than myself.

Enough chit-chat, here are the prompts you’ve been waiting for:

Dialog Prompts:

  1. “I’m mute!” She shouted in the chaos.
  2. “Okay, I’ve got the cake mix, did you grab the head phones?”
  3. “Kill the child. It’s the right thing to do.”
  4. “You’re such a human!” “Did you just call me a human?”
  5. “I know pi by heart. All of it. 3.14159265…”
  6. “But you just said that you couldn’t eat!”

Narritive Prompts:

  1. You experience you a close call, and your life flashes before your eyes- Except it’s not your life.
  2. I rolled my eyes. Of course I get stuck with someone who’s morals are as twisted as my mind.
  3. Yesterday, humanity discovered how to send packages back in time. Today, you receive a package from yourself.
  4. She added a charm onto her bracelet for every life she took.
  5. Your character finds “DO NOT DO THIS!!” list that his friend complied… But he finds it the same day as this friends funeral.
  6. Monsters fear humans will find the immortal race, but we have no clue they exist. Yet.

Suggesting Prompts:

  1. Write something that deeply involves a blow drier.
  2. One of your characters can only use lines from songs to communicate.
  3.  The story is written from passerby’s perspectives.
  4. The secondary character is the sidekick, whilst being the villain.
  5. Write a story from the end to the beginning.
  6. Pick two of your short stories, and write another one with these two combined.

 

 

Thank The Devil

“Get up. Please. It won’t hurt. Much.”

Groggily I opened my eyes and felt pain surge through my leg. Wincing, and the memories flooded back.

“Where is she?” I asked. It couldn’t be real.

“She’s dead, Noah. Stand.”

Feelings piled up inside, like a massive car collision. You can imagine, but they all came to a halt with regret. I let my best friend save me. We should both be alive right now. No. The fire should have never happened. No one would want us dead. At least no sane person.

“Did they find who started the fire?”

“No. No one started it, boy. It was a natural forest fire, and there’s no reason to think anyone would want either of you dead. If you want to blame anyone, blame God, which doesn’t sound like a good option.”

Oh right, like those are reassuring words, nurse.

Three raps on the door. The nurse walked over and swung open the hospital room’s door, revealing a woman in a black suit, decorated with necklaces and super tall heels. She had a clipboard and laptop tucked under her arm.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Pregler. A moment?” Formal. Ugh, can I just try to remember my friend who i’ll never see again, please?

“Alright.”

“Thank you.”

I talked for a while about what Maddie was like, and how the fire happened. I tried to convince her i saw someone else while we were out there. But she didn’t believe me.

“Noah, I know this can be hard for you to understand. You want to blame someone. Any teenager would want to. But you can’t. It was natural, from what the investigators say. Now how’s your leg?”

“It’s burned. It’s fine.”

“Alright. I’ll be off. Maddison’s funeral is tomorrow. I’d be glad to take you, if you’d like.”

“Thanks for the offer, I’ll think about it.”

She got up and left, thank god. Except I’m angry at him, so I thanked the devil instead.

~

I didn’t eat anything that night. I couldn’t. All my thoughts were on Maddie and how much I botched up. Sleeping was hard, but eventually this restless state gave way to dozing off.

~

“Noah. Noah I can’t reach you but wake, please!”

“What?” I groaned, but it came out more as a “mhuuu?”

Turning over I found myself in a void. That jolted me awake.

“Where am I? Who are you?”

The place was definitely not what I imagined a never-ending vortex would look like. It wasn’t time- and spaceless. In fact, it seemed like all time was in this spot. It was pulsing with energy and I was reminded of many memories from many times. Four years ago, when I won the Lego building championship, all the way back to fifteen years ago, when it was my first birthday. Everything in life was crystal clear again.

But the place itself was just a school hallway, complete with off white linoleum floors, and lockers that used to be white. Light brown doors flanked every fifteen lockers. Through the windows on the doors I couldn’t see squat. They were all clouded inside.

The hall went down pretty far, ending with some, what appeared to be abandoned, construction equipment. A fire extinguisher sat next to me in a glass box. At the very end I saw three glass doors, the light shining through, brightening the corridor. It was so bright I couldn’t see outside.

I leaped off my bed, surprised. Then I realized I was walking through a school in a hospital gown, which might not be the best idea. I turned back to grab a blanket, but the bed was gone.

“Noah! Look up, the lights. You’ll be able to see me there.”

I glanced up, confused. But there, suck in a light panel, was Maddie.

“What?! Maddie! How’d you get in there?”

“You’re trying forget me. I ended up here after . . . Look, this isn’t the best time to explain, but you’ve got to get me out!”

I looked around. How was I supposed to reach a fifteen foot tall light?

The construction site.

I raced to the end of the hallway, which took longer than expected. It didn’t seem very long, but then again, I was dreading the plank walk in a hospital dress. Luckily, no one saw me.

There was a ladder. It cold and metallic to the touch, but it would get Maddie down from the lights. How the hell did she even get up there?

Character Analysis

(Your Character’s Name)

General Information

Full Name:  
Nickname:  
Race:  
Gender:  
Age:  
Birthday:  
Place of Birth:  

 

Physical Appearance

Height:  
Weight:  
Body Type:  
Skin:  
Eyes: large, curious  
Hair:  
Face:  
Scars:  
Any other Physical Distinctions:  

 

Family Relationships:

Mother:  
Relationship with Mother:  
Father:  
Relationship with Father:  
Siblings:  
Relationship with Siblings:  
Other relatives:  
Relationships with Other relatives:  

 

 

Social Relationships:           

Romantically involved:  
Spouse (if any):  
Children:  
Best Friend:  
Relationship with Best Friend:  
Friends:  
Relationship with Friends:  
Allies:  
Relationship with allies:  
Enemies:  
Relationship with Enemies:  

 

Personal Characteristics

Physical strengths:  
Physical Weaknesses:  
Mental strengths:  
Mental weaknesses:  

 

History

Life up to now: Happiest moment:
  Proudest moment:
  Saddest moment:
  More embarrassing moment:
  Scariest moment:

 

Life:   

How would you describe your life overall?  
What is your most memorable moment?  
What has been the most important event in your life?  
What do you consider your greatest achievement?  
What is your number one regret?  
When were you the most afraid?  
What is your greatest fear? Why?  
What is the most honorable or “good” thing you’ve ever done?  
What is the most “evil” thing you have ever done?  
Have you ever been in love or had a crush on someone?  Why? What did you admire in them?  
Do you have a notorious or celebrated ancestor/relative? Does that affect you?  
What is your deepest secret?  
What do you think of your childhood?  Teenage years?  Adulthood?  
What part of your life would you consider “the good old days”?  
What is the worst fear of yours that you have actually faced?  Why?  
Who are some people you admire?  Why?  
What qualities of yourself are you proud of?  What qualities would you like to change?  
If you had just one wish, what would you wish for?  (If you can’t wish for infinite wishes).  
What would you do with ten million dollars?  
Do you believe in fate/predestination?  Do you believe that you are responsible for your actions?  
Do you think having fun or working hard is more important?  Which do you favor?  Just how much?  
Would you prefer suburban, glittery city-life, or plain country life?  

 

Personality    

What three words would you use to best describe your personality?  
What three words would your best friend use to describe you?  
What three words would your mother or father use to describe you?  
What three words would your arch-enemy use to describe you?  
Do you seek adventure or avoid it?  
Do you tend to argue with people or avoid conflict?  
Are you a listener or a talker?  
How long does it take for you to trust others?  
Do you hold grudges?  
Do you think you are brave?  Do you think others might describe you as brave?  
Do you believe more strongly in morals or in deciding things on your feelings at the moment?  
Do you tend to take leadership roles in social situations?  
Would you rather go to a good party or watch a movie that you’ve been waiting for six months to come out?  
Do you like hanging out in large groups of people, or do you prefer smaller groups of no more than six or seven people?  
Are you generally introverted or extroverted?  

 

Personal Emotions

What makes you sad?  
What makes you happy?  
What makes you mad?  
WHY?  
Do you have any biases or prejudices?  
What do you think of love?  
What do you think of law?  
What do you think of obedience?  
Do you believe in self-sacrifice for the greater good?  
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?  
What do you consider “beautiful”?  
What do you consider “ugly”?  
What do you think about your own looks?  

 

Religion and Morals

Do you even believe in God?  
What do you think about God?  
If you believe in God, do you believe in having a personal relationship with God?  
Do you think of God as an abstract being or more as a concrete person in everyday life?  
If you believe in God, do you also believe in faith with foundation in a type of religious book/law?  
Do you think you need God?  
Do you think it is more important to obey God or follow your own ideas and plans?  
What do you think about controversial issues regarding morals?  
What are some strong beliefs you have?  
What are some practices/cultural items you are strongly against?  
Do you believe in clear cut “good” and “evil”?  
Do you enjoy being “good” better or a little “evil”?  
What is your view on the afterlife/heaven/hell?  
Do you consider yourself “religious,” “spiritual,” or avoid religion altogether?  
If you believe in God, do you think of him as loving and merciful, or judging and angry?  
Do believe more strongly in science or religion for explanation of life?  
What is your view on how life came to be?  

 

Personal Relationships                   

Who is the most important person in your life? Why?  
Who is the greatest role model in your life?  
Who is the person you respect the most? Why?  
Who is the person you despise most? Why?  
Who is the one person you have loved most in your life?  Why?  

 

Goals

 

What are your goals for the future?  
Do you think more about the future and your goals or stay more in the moment?  
What goals do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?  
Where do you see yourself in five years?  
Ten years?  
Twenty years?  
Forty years?  
Sixty years?  
If you could choose, how would you like to die?  
Do you want to have children?  If so, how many?  
What is the one thing you would like to be remembered for after your death?  

 

 

Hobbies/Leisure time

What are some of your hobbies?  
What is your favorite sport?  
What are your favorite songs/What is your favorite genre of music?  
What are some of your favorite movies/What is your favorite movie genre?  
Are there any TV shows you watch regularly?  
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors in your leisure time?  
Do you spend leisure time more with yourself or with others?  
Do you willingly sacrifice leisure time to work hard on your homework/job?  
Are you interesting in sports?  
Do you spend leisure time actually relaxing or being busy with fun activities?  

 

Situations

Your sister texts you while you are away at summer camp/business trip (depending on your age) and says your mother has broken her arm and is in the hospital.  She has to have surgery and wants you to be there.  But your trip is kind of important for your school/job.  What do you do?  
You’re sitting in a restaurant and suddenly the girl in a booth next to yours starts coughing hard.  She may or may not be choking.  How do you respond?  
You get a huge load of work for school/your job (depending on your age).  You have a whole month to do it, though.  Do you ration it out for every day, put it off, do it all now, etc.?  
There’s a snake in your yard.  It’s really big, with a large head.  What do you do?  
You say something really stupid to a teacher/boss because you’re really tired.  A fellow student/coworker laughs at you and makes fun of you.  How do you respond?  
You hear a knock at your front door.  Do you peek out the door first or just open the door?  
You are the captain of a ship that’s going to sink.  You have one super-comfy lifeboat which can fit three people and an uncomfortable, leaking lifeboat that will work but is unpleasant that can fit three more people.  If you have five people :

1.  A 50 year old husband who is an atheist.

2.  A 60 year old grandmother of two, but how is nasty to you and complains incessantly.

3.  A 16 year old girl training for the Olympics.

4.  A 3 year old who is afraid of boats.

5.  A 25 year old pregnant woman who is deaf.

How do you arrange the people in the boats, and, as the sixth person, which boat do you place yourself in?

 
Your friends are all pressuring you to buy the newest trends in clothing; what do you do?  
Your “friend” spreads gossip about you.  Then they avoid you.  What do you do?  
You really want a new phone that has come out but can’t afford it.  What do you do?  
(For a girl) You have perfectly straight hair and are inordinately proud of it.  Over time, your hair starts becoming curly.  Do you learn to accept it or straighten it?  
(For a boy).  Every other guy in your social group is going to a horror movie that you really don’t want to see.  They all want you to go so they can hang out with you, though.  Do you go?  

Notes:

________________

So, I’ve been working on character analysis a lot, and I thought you might want to see this chart. It’s been helping figure out my characters, and keep everything straight on paper, not so much in my mind! Hopefully this helps fellow writers out there. Enjoy.

Amelika I Kaumaha