Repair My Heart

“You doing good?”

I wish I could

But good? I should.

‘Course “I’m doing fine”

Not “Hi,

I want to die,”

Just

“No of course I’m fine,”

But I’ve crossed the line

I look behind

And see the place

Back in space   

Where I decided death

Was the better option.   

I’ve taken up adoption   

To the moron

And now he’s gone

And so am I: the pawn.

But what about the rest?

To live: Start in the shop of life

You don’t get to come here twice

But now I’m stuck with all this strife.

May I have a knife?

How to escape?

It’s seems there is

Just sun and moon and sun

And I’m done

I haven’t won

But don’t be stunned

You gave me the gun.   

And to see the gate

Of heaven, of hell

Ringing bells

Or screams and yells   

Just don’t make me live.

Now I’m probably overthinking

I’m sinking

Hit the rock of

The brain’s labor of love

Sorry?   

Love is not my   

Way to fly,

More to die.

No not feeling.   

Unappealing.

They’re just stealing

Whatever’s left inside this hollow skull.

A song of sleep to lull

But not to sleep

Harder than logically thinking.

Blinking

Back tears

Don’t let your peers

See your cares.

Over the years

Building up your fears.

Can you please just repair-

I don’t know where to start,

I’m not that smart

But maybe if you start   

With what we took apart.

So then can you please jumpstart

My heart?

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